1 Corinthians 13
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
The person I've never written about on my blog is my mother-in-law. I've been very fortunate with my parents-in-law. All 4 in-law siblings have something in common, we all were deserted by our dads. And we all wanted to have a Dad like Buddy. Mostly. I really love my late father-in-law, we have so many funny stories to share. And I wrote one blog post where I realized Buddy worried a whole, whole lot. Woke up early to worry. And who did Buddy love most in the world? My mother-in-law. And man, man, man, man did he love her. He was Humphrey Bogart cool, but that Buddy would literally jump over the coffee table to get Gran, my mother-in-law, not to clam up.
She gave me a ring for Christmas, I asked her the story behind the ring and she teared up to say, "It was a day, Buddy, just had a little extra, so he went out and got me a ring. He did that sometimes. " And this look of profound loss misted over her eyes and for a minute she couldn't speak. I love you, Judy. I Really Love You.
Gran is very easy to love. She looks perfect, she acts perfectly. She is the High School Cheerleader perfectly coiffed, slim person. Who never was a Cheerleader and really actually has a very, very loving heart. People love her. I've dated Edward since I was 15. And Gran has seen me in all stages of my life. Some she has loved me like a real mom. And some times she has ice berged me over. Like a family squabble in 1990 where I told the truth for poor motives. I'm sorry.
But Gran saved me many, many times. And when she does she gives me this little nod that means so, so, so, so much. And a hug, and heart felt, dear, soft, "Love you." Judy spent really healing time with us after Buddy died. Some old hurts were completely healed. Judy came the day Isabelle died. She stayed and she talked. And she told me what it was like to be a widow twice. She shared with me how awful people can be to people who grieve. She told me that it would take time and it would get better. She left for home for a week and was to return the next week and she told me sweetly, kindly, uncharacteristically to clean my house, the bathrooms were unfathomably unclean. (Judy is the perfect mother-in-law - our toilets were ruined and we were having a party, she came to me in this mortified whisper and she said,"I don't mean to intrude, but your toilets are Awful." I had to laugh. I said, I know but they are clean, just ruined from bleach.) I thought - duh, my baby was dying. And I felt angry to be so sad and be cleaning. And as the bathrooms were gross and they became cleaner, I was so, so grateful to have a task to do to feel better.
My children are not verbal in the way they love her. But they really, really, really Do. One Easter she gave them Easter Bunnies with her perfume on them and they still remember it. They love her, who could not. When Gran comes to visit, the boys want to visit with her ~ there is no other adult they at least try to talk to (they are self-interested like all of us)! Gran has made a world of difference in their lives.
Another time, she and I sat on her bed for an evening and were stunned over a recent sibling family divorce. We had the same heart for it. We sat in silence and worried for the departed ex-sibling. She came recently and we went to see a family movie that ends in death but goes on and on - we both didn't have much to say - and finally I looked at her and said, "That was the Worst Movie of All Time!" And we laughed for about 2-3 minutes, with the same heart -it was a bleak movie that ended without a Christian funeral just plop and fizz and it was done, paddle away. Why could we laugh with the same heart - we have both lost people we love and we have Hope for Them in the LORD.
When I am hard pressed for a decision, I think of Judy. Take the high road and be kind. She never says this, she just lives it out every day of her life. It has always held Judy up in hard times. Because Judy doesn't believe hard times last, she believes the high road and some kindness take people to the right answers.
I love you, my second Mom. (I love you, my Anne Mom, too!) I Really Do. May the Lord, the Most High, The God of All Creation, Bless and Love You for the Love you Are. In the Highest name of Jesus Christ, Amen.