At the beginning of the Pandemic, a woman with a very ill small baby told what it was like to be one of the first families with Covid, due to hospitalization with the baby. Her story was very fascinating about coping with lack of volunteers and the family's need for basic necessities in the big city.
I thought we'd discuss what Covid is like in October of 2021 with a patient under care.
Here are the facts if you want to just skip to the other part:
My mother has had Alzheimer's, probably in some fashion, since her divorce she sought from my father with cause from him. The mother we had after the 25-year marriage ended didn't always look like my fun and interesting mother. Her neighbors comforted me earlier this year as we had her almost 5-year constant home-care companion gave notice due to the difficulties of home stay with the elderly and the new Hospice changes in mother. They spoke of her 31-year career with Ebby and the fun she had dressing up, going out for luncheons with Ebby and evening banquets. My mother did have fun, again, and her neighbors said it was fun seeing her leave for this and that.
Mother's Alzheimer's wasn't pretty or gracious. She didn't have conversation skills. She became alone with her caregiver, me and her neighbors who have been gracious to her in all odd Alzheimer's situations. Saintly neighbors visiting her, even arriving to bring her flowers for her last August 88th Birthday in the Memory Care Facility, under Hospice Care as well. This last month saw her unable to stand, not recognize her child and become Aphasic. Her care facility is 85% vaccinated, but break through Covid is happening. We went to Dallas earlier this week, but her floor had Covid and we visit Edward's mother in another Assisted Living and didn't want one virus to leap to another facility. We had chores in Dallas and went home. As we approached our home outside Houston, the phone from her Care Facility rang to say she had tested Positive for Covid after being particularly unresponsive. The Head Nurse for the 5-story facility has 20 years experience in Mother's Building. She told us the Prognosis was about 3 days.
Passing on with Covid is different. Your family is supposed to fly in and sit Shiva with you. This new apart brings out so many responses within all of us.
Amos 8:10 ends with these words:
and the end of it, like a bitter day
After sitting through the passing of both my grandmothers, my father, my truly great father-in-law after 32 years, my dear Great Uncle in law, a joyful and larger than life Aunt of Edward's, I know about the joy of family, the solidarity and the bone crushing loss.
The emotions that will be called out and, with some experience, how to surf the waves and end the comment. Well, being honest, ending a public comment is fairly reasonable, but the family ones continue at home.
Scripture is so helpful, connect to what is eternal and makes our lives meaningful. To connect to the wild winds of emotional life, realizing the Way, the Truth and The Life is Found To Encourage and Bring Hope.
To what will we compare this? We will put forth two Scriptures, for emotional range, when we love someone passing on:
Ecclesiastes 7:1
And the day you die is better than the day you are born. ... A good reputation at the time of death is better than loving care at the time of birth.
Job 3
After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. 2 And Job said:
3 “Let the day perish on which I was born,
and the night that said,
‘A man is conceived.’
4 Let that day be darkness!
May God above not seek it,
nor light shine upon it.
5 Let gloom and deep darkness claim it.
Let clouds dwell upon it;
let the blackness of the day terrify it.
6 That night—let thick darkness seize it!
Let it not rejoice among the days of the year;
let it not come into the number of the months.
7 Behold, let that night be barren;
let no joyful cry enter it.
8 Let those curse it who curse the day
Passing on, being apart from Covid, really just cranks this up. How did we fill our years, did we make meaningful life. What to do with the inevitable messes and how to leave the Joy? Have we done meaningful life? What will we do in the future?
We all start thinking of the beginnings, living the passing and filling in the dots and iotas Jesus said He would fill with us and, truly, for us.
Has been something I saw painted on a Dallas sidewalk at Preston Royal today. "Be better Humans." We want to know we connect and make life better for us, no matter the zip code or dollars. Death is something we all experience. When Scriptures speak of being rich, this isn't all dollars. This is heart. Loss comes to the Joyful, the struggling. We unite in understanding, finding and knowing meaning in grief overcoming.
Last week, I attended a Luncheon at The Woodlands Methodist Church. Now 2nd Methodist Church in size in the Nation. And Dori wept to know so many nurses and doctors who are overwhelmed. We prayed for these Workers who are Heroic. And we prayed for the whole nation.
James 5:1
Come now, you who are rich, weep and wail over the misery to come upon you.
We all tend to lick our wounds in private. We want to avoid being seen wearing our heart on our sleeves like a glutton of emotion or to proclaim weakness. Unfortunately, we don't let wounds heal, not to gently air out our heart.
Isaiah 22:1
This is the burden against the Valley of Vision: What ails you now, that you have all gone up to the rooftops
Matthew 10:27
What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the housetops.
Isaiah is 700 B.C, Matthew is 800 years later. Humans have human tenderness, human pride, human need to find the right voice to bring out our heart safely and with less drama and more tenderly for healing. Plus - we really want to be in the normal range.
So, I will tell you what happened upon telling my family: the entire family dynamics we knew with my Mother leaving with an Alzheimer's patient set of problematic events, is now upon us.
JOB FOUR!
Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said:
2 “If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient?
Yet who can keep from speaking?
3 Behold, you have instructed many,
and you have strengthened the weak hands.
4 Your words have upheld him who was stumbling,
and you have made firm the feeble knees.
5 But now it has come to you, and you are impatient;
it touches you, and you are dismayed.
6 Is not your fear of God your confidence,
and the integrity of your ways your hope?
7 “Remember: who that was innocent ever perished?
Or where were the upright cut off?
8 As I have seen, those who plow iniquity
and sow trouble reap the same.
9 By the breath of God they perish,
and by the blast of his anger they are consumed.
10 The roar of the lion, the voice of the fierce lion,
the teeth of the young lions are broken.
11 The strong lion perishes for lack of prey,
and the cubs of the lioness are scattered.
And I had already determined for many, many months, departing, and the leaving after being gaspingly ill for a decade, is going to be different from, and than, the other 35 family deaths we can relate to as a family. When a brain isn't whole, things backfire, clog up and go steadily and solidly as the stock market. And in thinking during all the 20 years of care taking in different stages, I had established some rock steady guidelines.
Don't freak out, be moderate, be factual, be firm and don't freak out. Don't overreact.
Why? We have this. Fewer memories, to almost none, from some family of the good years. Damaged hopes. Guilt with more guilt with feeling like an emotional horror. Lashing out for asking for emotion. Guilt not to be nearby. Guilt for careers. Afraid of dying. No picnic. Don't add to the emotional trauma.
No, it's all too wretched, no more, no more asking for sadness.
Ok, well by now, you'd think we'd all adjust to the new bad normal, right? No. Dallas, Texas isn't thought of as being closed up for Covid. But lemme tell you, they had half the Covid of Houston. And in April and even May, Dallas was shouting on in and on only in their very own housetops. At home. Malls, restaurants looked like the traffic on Christmas Day. Now we have Airport Violence. Speeding recklessly. Now, if you look at police blotters, police accident reports, you realize people are just now starting to be Upset. Sure, the Malls are now filled and the restaurants, but everyone looks rather determined to sit up straight and not moan. And the people speaking as if the time of their lives, is now, are all but Yelling in the Degree of Strength put out in their Voices. They Have To Convince You They Are Having Fun.
Is this Post having fun yet? No, but we will get there, hang in there.
Job 4 is quite good.
“Now a word was brought to me stealthily;
my ear received the whisper of it.
13 Amid thoughts from visions of the night,
when deep sleep falls on men,
14 dread came upon me, and trembling,
which made all my bones shake.
15 A spirit glided past my face;
the hair of my flesh stood up.
16 It stood still,
but I could not discern its appearance.
A form was before my eyes;
there was silence, then I heard a voice:
17 ‘Can mortal man be in the right before God?
Can a man be pure before his Maker?
I listened, I heard the complaints, one person went into inappropriate laughter, then more calls, more complaints, the years back didn't happen nicely, and then the anger directed at the one who could still hear. And after listening, giving understanding, more facts and more understanding. I then said, “Sh.” And in these days, we can get off the phone and temporarily block to have tomorrow become unblocked. This is working. 'Sh' has been a magic word. And given us all the room to recover.
The Renaissance was another time of the 500-year Acts of God. 40% prostitution, even of the married. 1/3 died of starvation. Monasteries were working their tails off feeding the poor, providing food, doing beautiful worship, making the first-ever hospitals and diversifying into literacy teaching. Then, hey, the Reformation for taking Indulgences, probably for being tired and weary and worldly. And most Priests were secretly married.
The Greatest Portion of Renaissance was looking to God for comfort. Signs. And the signs I saw today brought me comfort.
Job 6
“Teach me, and I will be silent;
make me understand how I have gone astray.
25 How forceful are upright words!
But what does reproof from you reprove?
26 Do you think that you can reprove words,
when the speech of a despairing man is wind?
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
We can expect God when we grieve. Even if the first step is anger. And forgive each other, if memory is found that is sweet, and we smile to remember goodness.
We don't have to all be in the same step with grief.
I remembered sitting together to grieve the passing. I remembered all gathering in 2016 so comfortably to mourn my mother's death in 2016, when she was far healthier and didn't pass on. And this season is very different.
We decided to return to Dallas, to sit Shiva at her house, even when we can't see my mom. And before we travelled back to Dallas this week, the idea arrived if we did what we could, then my mother's life and the wonderful years are honored.
We could send up Balloons with art work a well Mother would Well Remember.
Art from hours and years of fun. Familiar colors and patterns. This particular art sparked a loved memory. The blue dots.... When I was about five years old, my mother and my godparents dressed up in formals, long dresses and went downtown to a Ball. Oh, the trying on and the this and that. My mother returned home from the Ball with a blue balloon the size of an armchair. It looked like a Junior Macy's Parade Balloon. It had red, white and blue stripes from crêpe paper. Same with Rosettes, and underneath were more normal-sized Balloons.
That week, the giant Balloon became like a pet animal. It went to School. Came out in carpool line. Saw the School Office for Show and Tell. Walked down the Street to draw out the neighbors. Visited family. Was told to remain in the car and Not the Grocery Store. Yes, she is serious. Stay. By the end of the week, that Balloon was flat. Just by being tired, I'm certain.
And the story continued, my godmother Anne, also an Anne, found out about the Balloon's awesomeness and said her two sons had said, “Meh.” Anne, my Godmother, gave us the giant Blue Balloon and this one was perfect. Another Balloon! Round two, this Balloon was as loved as the first one because my Godmother had given up her Balloon. Never had a Giant Balloon, given so much Joy.
The next week, Godmother Anne called Godmother Marion, and they laughed over the Balloon. Marion decided her Balloon would come to us. And this Balloon created more joy being Red.
Just the blue dots on the page, and I remembered this all so well again.
The Balloons became what we Could Do. And off we went, back to Dallas again. We got out the phone and plotted what Grocery Store would be closest to my mother to find great Balloons.
GOD IS AMAZING!
I promise you, I haven't seen Balloons with little balloons again since I was 5 years old. I had to have a weep. God Remembers Too. Yes, color variety was needed to be a Happy Thing. Provided. Sized needed to be smaller to be carried and have more to see. Provided.
This week, I am working with Mother's Care Facility and her Hospice, since February. What I am seeing is people who are leaving. No need to fire people who have put ALL on the Line for almost Two Years. They are Tired. Vacations are being asked. To survive. The rest of the workers scramble to find something to make up. And they are.. braced... to be Chewed Out With Hysterics.
More is accomplished to remember Dori's crying Prayer. We all have had ... less... more and overwhelming times. When the people find out you explain calmly, listen and respond, they try again to pick up weary knees and tired hands. This is a group who is caring to be in a caring field. They are TRYING. Be nice to them.
If we think it is Overwhelming to leave a loved one to die, they wonder about the world doing so. And bringing our emotion to them. When the Balloons came out, the weary looked up.
To find Human kindness and know Humans being Kind again. Is Everything.
The best place for our cares is in the hands of Jesus, our hero.
Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.
Jesus is the Word of God fulfilled. Proverbs of Solomon is from 9 B.C. and, a millennium later, Jesus fulfills what Solomon explains.
Jesus first told any living Human Being
Who He was,
Jesus went to the Samaritans
in only the 4th Chapter of John's Gospel.
Early, Jesus was forthright.
And as Jesus told the Good News
to a mere woman,
He told her we would all worship
not in a physical location
but in Spirit and Truth.
We are perfectly capable of Sitting Shiva,
in unlikely and in public, as well as our housetops,
imperfectly, as the Scriptures explain,
and giving each other more to have Wonder
Joy
and Love.
19 And all the crowd sought to touch him, for power came out from him and healed them all.
The best place for our cares is in the hands of Jesus, our hero.
Proverbs 3:26-28
For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.
Say not unto thy neighbor, Go, and come again, and tomorrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.
Jesus is the Word of God fulfilled. Proverbs of Solomon is from 9 B.C. and, a millennium later, Jesus fulfills what Solomon explains.
Abba, Father
You have engraved our name in Your hand.
You have remembered us with compassion.
Your lives, our words, our heart is always in Your thoughts. Psalm 139 assures us.
Your hand, Father God, is for good on all who seek You. Your right hand assures us not to fear You because You listen earnestly.
No one is able to take us from Your hand, Father.
We always want to know, Father, Your hand is upon us.
Father, Your hand laid the foundation of the earth, and
Your right hand spread out the heavens;
when You call to them, they stand forth together.
We pray for Your Comfort, Jesus Christ,
Beauty from ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that we may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that our Father God may be glorified.
We shall call upon You to build up the ancient ruins;
and they shall raise up from former devastations!
In You, Jesus Christ, we shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of generations.
We Will set You, Father God, always before us!
Because You Are at my right hand, we shall not be shaken.
Our hearts will be glad, and our whole being rejoices.
We will dwell secure in Jesus Christ.
Father God will not abandon us, we will not see corruption.
We will live. Father God in you are the paths of life.
Because of You, Jesus, there is fullness of joy.
Because being at Your right hand is always a pleasure. Thank You, Father God.
We pray for my mother, Anne, who has Alzheimer's and is in Hospice,
she is quite ill, unable to stand and feed herself.
Mother has been passing on for about five years and unable to communicate.
We pray the Mercy of Jesus and her comfort, Father.
My father, Daddy, always dreamed, about 80 times
he would be deceased fairly early in life and Jesus
would ask him to guide my mother into Heaven.
So much of the detailed dream has happened and, soon,
the rest of this will occur.
We pray the comfort and mercy of Jesus.
We pray for the Nation,
the world interconnected and in need of Your Love and Mercy.
Abba, Father,
You gave us Jesus Christ
to save the world in Jesus Christ.
Dwell in us.
Help us to be the Delight of Your Heart.
Dwell in those we Love.
Help us to seek You first.
And with You, we will finish well.
May the Lord Bless us and Keep us
and
Make His Face to Shine upon us
be gracious to us.
May the Lord God
Lift His Countenance upon us
and smile
give us peace,
put Your Name, Highest Name Jesus
upon us Your Beloved
and we will
be Blessed.
Amen in Jesus Christ.
Abba, Father,
In Jesus Christ, we will never give up.
Jesus the God of ALL.
Jesus, we pray Life and healing
Joy and Love in all of us.
Jesus, God of Encouragement.
Jesus, Hope and Future.
Jesus the Lord
saves the world
Amen.
♔ LORD JESUS SAVES †
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