Colossians 3:15-16
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Got conflict? Smile. Life is the adventure of "Give us the Day" tempered with "Our Daily Bread." Bread is good. Warm. Inviting. The aroma of I want that. If you eat rye bread every day, or 'sour' dough, you can get pretty underwhelmed.
The Serenity Prayer by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
Jesus, I'm glad to say did not always smile and wave. Go with Him on a warm day and see... one of the nice things about picturing Jesus - we see WARMTH
Luke 6
On a Sabbath, while he was going through the grain-fields, his disciples plucked and ate some heads of grain, rubbing them in their hands. 2 But some of the Pharisees said, “Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?” 3 And Jesus answered them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: 4 how he entered the house of God and took and ate the bread of the Presence, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and also gave it to those with him?” 5 And he said to them, “The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.”
The nice thing about God, HE doesn't have to be politically correct. One of my most adored, beloved people in life used to moan and proclaim life just 'isn't fair.' Solomon said the Hand of God bestows blessing and hardship. Deal with it. Jesus was providing Conflict in the above Paragraph. It's His Privilege.
Oddly enough, the New Testament agrees and says Whatever your circumstance, be filled with finding gratitude or thanks because this is HIS will for you to grow up and go Home.
1. Are you dealing with someone who wants the same goal you do? Can you change that? Nope. Well, you have exactly one alternative. Pray. And adjust your life to move like - the Mississippi River. Because God is Sovereign. Yay. I'd trust my life to... HIM. Delta is the a symbol for any changeable quantity, in mathematics and the sciences. We change our attitudes to those pleasing to Him.
Best Practices for Effective Conflict Management - University of Iowa. They make California look sunny. However, we are called to be - One Body. If they aren't against you, they are for you.
Conflicts include differences of opinion and perceptions at all levels of interaction including supervision, shared work and living spaces, teaching and learning. When conflicts affect the ability to work productively, learn effectively, or live in a comfortable environment, they need to be addressed. The following are some best practices that can contribute to effective conflict management. As with most conflict management skills, these practices are common sense but can be challenging to put into practice.
As an individual:
- Address conflict early to prevent it from escalating.
- Discuss the issue directly with the person involved. Effective people communicate. I heard that from family.
- Communicate with respect. For assistance with an effective conversation, ask a supervisor, HR representative, or other UI resources for support. (Look Higher...Fast...that's a joke...have humor)
- Seek to learn and understand the other point(s) of view. (Don't do the you tube video of the man who had his parking place taken.)
- Address perceptions and assumptions.(With the idea the Son will Come Up Tomorrow).
- Listen to understand the interests of the other party, and not just their position on the matter in dispute. (They might be interesting, if they try not to whine.)
- Focus on the issue, not the person. (Are you kidding me, the person wants to be understood. As issue rests within, upon a Person.)
- Find ways to move past your differences; agree where you can find common ground and agree to disagree if necessary. (See the last sentence, repeat, this is GOD wants to Save the ... World.)
- Focus on the present and future, and be willing to put the past behind you. (See Recovery from Conflict.)
Jesus had colleagues, He got to pick (mostly) and 72 co-workers. Even in the Boss' Son's group, there were people who spoke one direction and went mainly another. The competition was terrible.
Jesus didn't over Word things. And He did not do Drama. Jesus recognized in dealing with People - Forgive them and move on. There are some people and some situations - you have to Pray about and leave up to Him. Jesus believed in people. Even while He knew what was in them. And He Expected the Best from them and if you look at His Record - He received blessings for His belief in them. And allowed time to let people grow up.
As a colleague or co-worker:
- Encourage parties in conflict to address each other early and directly. (I have been encouraged to leave my hammer at the door. And speak with words not involving labels. My father was a great believer in being Polite.)
- Encourage the parties to focus on common interests and work to resolve their differences in order to move forward. (Fence sitters are told they have a better view and are possibly closer to Heaven. Jesus gave time and said if they aren't against you, they are for you. And HE is God.)(Sometimes you have to dig for the humor, people.)
- Direct colleagues and co-workers who are in conflict to UI (Higher) resources. Taking sides will not help resolve the conflict. (Now that's just NOT reality, but nod and agree. You might nod that this is not the battle you pick right this second.)
- Do not be drawn into conflicts in which you are not a party. (TADA)
- Do not escalate the conflict by giving it undue attention. (TADA)
- Treat both parties in conflict with respect. TADA)
(Ta Da is actually Scottish for Teaching Assistant of the Father, ask a seminarian.)
Continuing
12 In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. 13 And when day came, he called his disciples and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles: 14 Simon, whom he named Peter, and Andrew his brother, and James and John, and Philip, and Bartholomew, 15 and Matthew, and Thomas, and James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon who was called the Zealot, 16 and Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.
17 And he came down with them and stood on a level place, with a great crowd of his disciples and a great multitude of people from all Judea and Jerusalem and the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon, 18 who came to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. And those who were troubled with unclean spirits were cured. 19 And all the crowd sought to touch him, for power came out from him
However, if only we could get along like the Early Church...Um. Read the last chapter of the Gospel of John. Luke disagrees with Matthew 5
Matthew 5
Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.
2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Practice the individual conflict management skills listed above, and encourage others in conflict to do so as well. (Pray. God can move the Red Sea - He could certainly have whisked people to the Promised Land. He chose the method of Pray and Pay the Electrical Bill. God cared how His people were treated. He waited until it was impossible to move that many slaves. Sometimes God uses weakness to make His point. Sometimes we listen to the complaints to see how the person's mind works.Listen. Care. Called to be one Body of Christ.)
Manage the environment to support conflict resolution. (Marriage Counselors say get up and leave when Heavy Anger overwhelms peaceable solutions.)
Be aware of the effects of power differences on conflict management. Be alert to worries about retaliation. (Expect the Best in People. Jesus did until HE decided there was no solution and just forgave and went on. GOD calls us to Peace. Not to dwell in this level of upheaval.)
Use UI resources to assist in facilitating conflict management so that it does not interfere with productivity or the well-being of the unit or department. (Except that we have exactly two choices in life - Work on His Plan a) appreciating the blessings and conflicts He gives us to grow up and go Home b) b and work on His Plan. )
The Conflict Description Template may be useful for supervisors in understanding a conflict situation and discussing it with others.
In any conflict, issues of confidentiality should be considered. (Jesus believed in that, pushing people out of the Jairus' daughter's death room. Saying, "The Child is only sleeping.")
Pray
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time.
Let His Will be Done. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
This is not your first step. It's your FIRST BEST STEP.
Effective Conflict Management Thinking
Past Present Future
We cannot change the past. We can act to help make the situation better now and in the future through shared agreements. We can use conflict constructively as a source of different ideas and perspectives.
Forgive me my sins and those who sin against me ~ teachings of ~
Jesus Christ, Son of God
- Seek assistance from UI (HIS) resources if you need it.
- Make known your goals for the conversation. (Be Justice with Mercy in Truth)
- Discuss confidentiality.
- Use Respectful Communication so that each person will continue to participate and not leave, go silent, raise their voice or be defensive.
- Listen intently for the other’s perspective. Active Listening skills are especially useful in conflict conversations.
- Be aware of and try to understand your own and the other person’s feelings.
- Discuss perceptions and assumptions. (Seek mutual ground)
- Address the past as necessary.
- Focus on the problem, not the person. Address the problem instead of being defensive. (The Person needs to be addressed with such courtesy the issue is secondary.)
- Look for areas of agreement--your common ground—and build on those. (You say mutual, they say common, try not to smile broadly.)
- Agree on what you both can do in the future and leave the rest. (Nod a lot, pick your battles, don't nod too much. Be Sincere. )
Post-conversation: Implement and Move Forward
- Act with integrity to maintain your shared agreements.
- Recognize that change is difficult and sometimes we make mistakes as we change. Notice positive behaviors.
- Let go of past hard feelings and look for ways to work together productively, e.g. use common personal greetings, say thanks when appropriate, acknowledge and show appreciation for changed behavior, repeat common ideas and goals, etc. If you are having difficulty, visit Recovery from Conflict for further ideas to help you now and in the future.
The Beatitudes
20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said:
“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.
21 “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied.
“Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.
22 “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! 23 Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.
Jesus Pronounces Woes
24 “But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation.
25 “Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry.
“Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.
26 “Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets.
Love Your Enemies
27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
39 He also told them a parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? 40 A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. 41 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye.
43 “For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44 for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
46 “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? 47 Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: 48 he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. 49 But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”
~ teachings of ~
Jesus Christ, Son of God
Abba,
Jesus Christ the Lord, we ask Father God
to Bless us and Keep us
and Make Your Face to Shine upon us.
To know our cares and compassions. To forgive our flaws and weakness.
We ask for Your Graciousness.
We want to be Blessing Seekers. To ask for Your Willing Blessings
on our infirmities and Heal us. We love to ask Your Blessings.
Help us to be a Blessing.
Thank You for Your Blessings. Our Hope and Future. Today, Yesterday and, also, Tomorrow. Bless those we love with health, healing from cancer and from illness - upset stomach and headache requiring antibiotics.
Thank You for Your Blessings. Our Hope and Future. Today, Yesterday and, also, Tomorrow. Bless those we love with health, healing from cancer and from illness - upset stomach and headache requiring antibiotics.
Lift Your Face and Smile upon us.
Carry our Nation to Trust in You.
Bless Nations who seek You and Your Light.
Bless the Children of God asking You for more Heaven on earth.
Give us the Amazing Gift of Peace.
Peace so Magnificent this is Your own Peace.
The assurance of You. God's own Peace
We ask with all our heart, mind and soul to be
Covered in the Name of Jesus.
And Your Blessing of more Heaven on earth.
In the Highest Name of Jesus. Amen.
♔ Lord Jesus Saves! †