Zechariah 8:4-8
4 Thus says the Lord of hosts: Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with staff in hand because of great age. 5 And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets.
6 Thus says the Lord of hosts: If it is marvelous in the sight of the remnant of this people in those days, should it also be marvelous in my sight, declares the Lord of hosts? 7 Thus says the Lord of hosts: Behold, I will save my people from the east country and from the west country, 8 and I will bring them to dwell in the midst of Jerusalem. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God, in faithfulness and in righteousness.”
In October, Dallas had a series of tornadoes. 16 miles. They skipped up and down. Shopping Centers were destroyed and fences put up. Part of our Extended Family moved to temporary lodgings. My mother's house was skipped. Her neighborhood was not skipped, looking like the photos after World War II. Large Ponds used to be sheltered by Huge Live Oaks and happy houses. Now all are flattened, looking like Hurricane Katrina Live Oaks. A very few houses have been pulled down. Our family says the insurance calls and asks if the house has an intact water heater, and you are supposed to peer into the damage and report back.
Tulsi Gabbard was on The Joe Rogan Experience reporting the Army says it takes 7 years to find out what a Terrorist Cell is and to overcome. Tulsi reports Lebanon has an entire Al Qaeda holding and this isn't being stopped. Perhaps it will. The Congress says this is so complex, that perhaps this is why not all things are solved quickly.
Emotions work like that. Don't they? This Christmas, my mother's Alzheimer is far worse.
I didn't realize she didn't pay last year's property tax, when I asked she told me a friend had driven her downtown to pay this. This was not quite as it was. The City and Dallas County was kind enough to just, gently, let this wait. Today, it's paid.
Over Christmas, my mother's Doctor requested a DNR form. I put it off to not upset everyone. Then my sister-in-law and niece arrived to visit Mother and my mother couldn't recall who had been there - to say their names that day. The Doctor saw my mother take over 20 minutes to get from the waiting room to the office to see the Doctor. It was explained to me, in medical detail, about the harshness of resuscitation on the elderly.
We went to Dallas yesterday. Mother couldn't figure out how to put funds in her Checking Account. She failed to recognize her cell phone, answer it or be able to talk on the phone. She wasn't sure what I was saying, before she put the phone down and walked away, but told me I had called her and this is her name. We spent an hour and a half at the bank my mother has banked in for 40 years. North Dallas Bank still had fields around it when Mother started banking there. Her bank president knows her and opens the door. Finally to be kind, we tell him this will take a long time and we will get the door. Robeina has gone out of her way for my Mother for 20 years. One day at Home Depot, Home Depot was called to shred her card. Robeina fixed it. Robeina has been just simply an angel to my mother for a long time. Jesus Bless Robeina and her family, please. And as we fixed Mother's checking account, Robeina cried tears
Not me. I got through the hour and a half meeting, but had to confess I needed to hear the directions again several times. We got to the car and my mother announced her own mother, my Grandmother Anita, was still living. This was about the most she had said all day. Mother is Blessed, she has Edith, her companion living with her. Edith is so very patient with the walker, physical therapy, cooking and caring for my mom. Edith asked her two or three times to see if Mother would come back to today. I looked at my mom and said, "You're exactly right, Grandmother Anita Lives."
We had a hugely busy day yesterday. Seeing in clear light what the Tornado had brought. It would be a long time before life was as pretty.
We had a busy day today. And after all the fuss had gone past, I took the time to really cry for the first time in a long time - my mother is going to die. Twenty years of parenting would be gone. And 30 years of pre-pre-pre Alzheimer disease had been present. I'd seen at Mother's house crosses we had known her to make and display. A really beautiful Christmas flower arrangement she did with Greenery, Jonquils and red berries. Such a talent. Under the Garden Club art of the entirely wild botanical arrangement.
Mother has been harsh for a long time. Especially on those she loved.
Her best friends and I have examined verbal histories. Her affections were part of the past. Her grandchildren won't know the mother I knew. And the words and gestures she used were way over the top - and more - for a year and a half. Not in her right mind. Long time friends left to remember her as she was. You can't blame them even a little. Now, suddenly, she is quiet and there is a vast amount of relief in that. This visit I was able to hug her, kiss her and tell her I love her without an atrocity.
Mother's generation learned to smoke 3 packs a day at age 16. Age 60 - she quit. The Martini to have to greet the husband. Pregnancies didn't exclude alcohol. Tranquilizers have been part of the glam years since Elvis. Antidepressants daily for 4 generations. All perfectly safe...
There is a Minister, a long time friend told me about, he lives on the Southern East Coast and his prayer request is always, "Let me go far, Lord, in this life and let me finish well." I learned after I was a Guardian to my first cousin once removed, 23 strokes will vastly change a person. Catholics reportedly have the best passing to the next life, every Sunday they pray for their today and their time to pass. Great Idea.
So today, the relief of less Alzheimer atrocity faded. And the tears poured out. The doorbell rang, the tears didn't stop, but I was told I'd be prayed for and hugged. God is so good. Life will continue. New generations will arrive. Summer days to make crosses and flower arrangements will continue. Grandmother Anita will welcome my mother.
My father, Daddy, dreamed at least 80 times he would be the one sent by Jesus to collect Mother to Heaven. His dream has proven to be correct in the way Isaiah told about the birth of Jesus. And obscure parts of the dream unfolded like a rose.
Heaven is for real.
Abba,
The Lord bless us and keep us. Shine Your Face upon us. We thank You for Your Graciousness.
In Jesus Christ we will see His Mercies. For my mother, for all who call on Jesus. We will go far and finish well. This we Believe.
Forever. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.
In Jesus Christ we will see His Mercies. For my mother, for all who call on Jesus. We will go far and finish well. This we Believe.
Forever. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.
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