Colossians 3:12-17 ~
As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive
Prior: July 25, 2009
Negative comments are heard about this photo, going on a decade or more old.
I had children who drew, like I drew. I only find this something to smile about.
Proverbs 6:20-21
20 My son, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always upon your heart; tie them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
Colossians 3:12-17
New Revised Standard Version
holy and beloved,
Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.
And be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Have you had to forgive?
Someone for causing the death of someone you love?
1992. We, as a family, forgave a nursing home caregiver for throwing open a steel exit door in anger, not knowing Grandmother Anita, Age 94, was on the other side of the door and breaking our mother/grandmother’s shoulder. Grandmother went out of the care facility every evening to sit and watch the twilight and sun change the sky into colors. Grandmother died from the injury, she was 94.
I watched the young caregiver, a 25-year-old woman, try. She was trying to let the Forgiveness be sincere. Was this too easy? Were we being sincere? What if we were wrong to forgive her? What if we were as guilty as she was in caring.
The 2nd meeting was unexpected, my mother had already accepted her request and suddenly this intense discussion was on, again. The whole conversation was going to happen again for another two hours. And I asked, what is your idea of forgiveness? What does your Church tell you? She said she had gone with her parents, but not now. I said, but you are a good soul, you want the meaningful part of life, to be forgiven. She said she knew she wanted to be forgiven.
The discussion now had to be about the legitimacy of what we said. Trust. I asked, do you believe we would forgive you and go home and call you terrible names? She looked at us both and laughed. No, she couldn't picture that. Then she cried and said she hadn't laughed since Grandmother Anita passed. And she cried again.
She asked us if from now on, if she could call Grandmother, Grandmother Anita? I said sure. My mother was very reassuring. She said she could tell I was hesitant. I said, no, I'm surprised at asking. Why, she asked me? Is it because I'm Hispanic? Now she looked offended, and I was again surprised. I said, no, Mother is an only child, I was an only child until I was 8, and now my family doesn't have first cousins or aunts and uncles. The young woman who had sat in Grandmother's room so many days and evenings, by choice, said no, it would help her to feel as if Grandmother knew she was her family and her death was important to her. I said I know Grandmother enjoyed you, please do this if you feel better.
And now, the young woman really began to speak. And looking back on this, it was because Forgiveness had given her the open door to the cage of guilt and remorse over casual anger.
She said learning that mother's brother was adopted and not mentioned made her wonder if we were good people. And that made her wonder if this was all beyond our hearts to help her. We explained Jimmy was sometimes violent and angry a lot in his special needs. But Grandmother was the one who had the love for him, she could give him completely, unconditionally. I said it's not as if we would ever introduce him as just a person, we would introduce him as Mother's brother, but due to his anger issues, we didn't see a lot of him and he didn't call our house. And she said the explanations, about boundaries, made her understand our family better and think we were more heart people. Her family had also had to overcome violence and anger issues. She understood the difference between boundaries of health and boundaries of coldness.
And the young woman became, suddenly, able to speak her concerns beyond just the simple question of Forgiveness. Her place in accepting our forgiveness, gave her a seat at the Banquet Table God seats us in His Love.
And then, Mother decided to change the subject and broaden the good soul we had been talking to, awareness of Grandmother’s soul, or heart. Mother asked her if she knew Grandmother dreamed of Heaven. This nurse-in-training, had not known Grandmother Anita was widowed exactly fifty years. She knew Grandmother was a widow, and spoke about Ray, but she didn't know the many years she spent wearing a widow wedding band. My mother gave her the depth of Grandmother's joy to see Ray. And she told her some conversations she and Ray had. Mother said Grandmother came back to life, to see Ray, her joy didn't fade and she would tell about old dreams. The fruit of the Spirit. Love, Joy, Peace.
Witnessing about Jesus and Heaven can be difficult, but my mother ran this race like a Champion. Her stories were loving and they were personal. My mother and I could fill in the gaps easily, together. The young nurse teared up and said if she hadn't met us, she wouldn't have known the stories went back so many decades of Ray. Her devotion to her one love in her husband. The lady hugged us and said she was going back to Church and listen for the Love.
My mother and I spoke about this a week later, I told my mom, "Wow, hold you back Billy Graham!" My mother said that conversation went so well. This just wasn't her own doing, it was the power of Jesus explaining Love. She said she couldn't repeat that. But the time and the knowing Grandmother for years, helped the lady to know and feel God's Love.
Grandmother had an amazing, wondrous passing at the Hospital.
Full of the peace, going home with her beloved Father God. She was 94 and death is not unexpected. The caregiver wept and wept, meeting with us twice, to be forgiven. It wasn’t difficult to forgive an act of carelessness; without malice to Grandmother Anita. The caregiver had really enjoyed Grandmother, and was her friend. She wept harder and loudly, hearing Grandmother forgave her and wasn’t angry. Grandmother dreamed many times of being reunited with family and her husband in Heaven, gone for 50 years, Grandmother didn’t spend a minute being angry.
My father’s passing was a different matter. 1993.
It’s complicated. His second wife knew a downward spiral was occurring and was, perhaps, tired of her marriage. The funeral photos looked like a christening or wedding photo, with the faces filled with the joy of the stepfamily. As I questioned family members, it became apparent with more help, his death might have been avoided. My deep sadness and grief turned into the most amazing rage. I never knew these violent emotions even could exist.
No apology would ever come from the woman (who wore a Tangerine Suit to the Funeral and waved her arms high in the air, giving the Eulogy). She, who now hailed my father, after his death, as the love of her life. She married again, for the 3rd time, within about 3, 4 months of his death.
Years before my dad died, I had attended a Bible study on forgiveness.
The Bible doesn’t record the sons of Israel asking forgiveness for lying to Israel Jacob. Lied Joseph had died from being mauled, while actually selling him into slavery. Israel grieved for his son for many, many years.
Forgiveness needs to occur even when an apology is not ever going to arrive.
As Israel died, after discovering the needless years of suffering and the deception of his sons, he blessed his sons, giving each the blessing appropriate and sincere to them. Israel died at peace and filled with hope. He wasn’t unrealistic in his forgiveness, but peace filled him.
I have found a willingness to forgive is the first step in forgiveness.
Time helps to allow forgiveness to grow. I asked God in the Highest Name of Jesus to allow my rage not to conquer me. I was gasping for God to help me.
God did help me, He answered my prayer.
I pictured living water flowing over me as I prayed. I asked for forgiveness when my forgiveness didn’t grow and placed my heart in God’s hands.
The pictured Living Water of God was my best defense.
In His Answered Prayer
Today, I am able to understand my dad’s responsibility and regret my dad’s wife’s choices. I am at peace.
To be forgiven, opened the path, to feeling God's Love. To be forgiven let the freedom thinking, begin to roll in. The forgiveness covered all the range of emotions, the depth of those motions.
I could even realize the two major aspects. I missed my father, tremendously. I wanted to talk to Daddy. I wanted to have the opportunity to share my children and see him grow old with my family. And the other aspect was the rage, with the upheaval of losing my father at age 30. That had grown into its own situation, how my emotions dampened my life. I wanted to be free of the ordeal. The Bible says not to grieve as the people who don't expect The Kingdom of Heaven and Jesus. I wanted to attain this in my heart and soul. Nothing seemed to help. And not let the grief go. And I preferred not to be asked about all of it. It was my private life. I'd only speak of this, if it was on my time.
Once I could see the overview, with the forgiveness, I could understand more. Healing began in the process and processing. The wheels began to turn, to go forth in God.
I have forgiven. Because the Lord helped me, and with His grace, I know I am forgiven.
Thank God.
Abba, Father,
You Hear Prayer.
You Love to Save the World in Jesus Christ.
Fill us with Jesus.
We pray for the end of despots.
For Freedom.
Jesus to be evident in people
praying.
We will Pray in the Name of Jesus.
We will See Our Blessings Arrive
Heaven upon earth
In Jesus Christ.
Amen.
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