The 1970's Campaign to Help Victims of Violence
2 Samuel 14
Now Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king's heart went out to Absalom. 2 And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. 3 Go to the king and speak thus to him.” So Joab put the words in her mouth.
4 When the woman of Tekoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said, “Save me, O king.” 5 And the king said to her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “Alas, I am a widow; my husband is dead. 6 And your servant had two sons, and they quarreled with one another in the field. There was no one to separate them, and one struck the other and killed him. 7 And now the whole clan has risen against your servant, and they say, ‘Give up the man who struck his brother, that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed.’ And so they would destroy the heir also. Thus they would quench my coal that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the face of the earth.”
8 Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” 9 And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “On me be the guilt, my lord the king, and on my father's house; let the king and his throne be guiltless.” 10 The king said, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again.” 11 Then she said, “Please let the king invoke the Lord your God, that the avenger of blood kill no more, and my son be not destroyed.” He said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.”
12 Then the woman said, “Please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” He said, “Speak.” 13 And the woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in giving this decision the king convicts himself, inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again. 14 We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. 15 Now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid, and your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his servant. 16 For the king will hear and deliver his servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the heritage of God.’ 17 And your servant thought, ‘The word of my lord the king will set me at rest,’ for my lord the king is like the angel of God to discern good and evil. The Lord your God be with you!”
18 Then the king answered the woman, “Do not hide from me anything I ask you.” And the woman said, “Let my lord the king speak.” 19 The king said, “Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?” The woman answered and said, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, one cannot turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has said. It was your servant Joab who commanded me; it was he who put all these words in the mouth of your servant. 20 In order to change the course of things your servant Joab did this. But my lord has wisdom like the wisdom of the angel of God to know all things that are on the earth.”
21 Then the king said to Joab, “Behold now, I grant this; go, bring back the young man Absalom.” 22 And Joab fell on his face to the ground and paid homage and blessed the king. And Joab said, “Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord the king, in that the king has granted the request of his servant.” 23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. 24 And the king said, “Let him dwell apart in his own house; he is not to come into my presence.” So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king's presence.
25 Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. 26 And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels[a] by the king's weight. 27 There were born to Absalom three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a beautiful woman.
28 So Absalom lived two full years in Jerusalem, without coming into the king's presence. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come. 30 Then he said to his servants, “See, Joab's field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” So Absalom's servants set the field on fire.[b] 31 Then Joab arose and went to Absalom at his house and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” 32 Absalom answered Joab, “Behold, I sent word to you, ‘Come here, that I may send you to the king, to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.” Now therefore let me go into the presence of the king, and if there is guilt in me, let him put me to death.’” 33 Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom. So he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.
Only the worst families have violence. Untrue.
Our county is suburban rural, The Police have asked the County to report a 35% increase in Domestic Violence. Not even during the Hurricanes did this Headline happen.
Pandemic creates a myriad of situations.
Time to worry. Time to yell. Boredom to violence. Pretense of new relationships from old to create interest in unrest. Time to abuse substance. Time to rake up the past. Time to interfere with other family. Time to release long standing plots. Healed abuse fired up again. Emotional dominance and revenge.
Ages involved. Children. Easy target. Teens new to fears of the real world. Teen drama released on parents. Young people disappointed the world is shut down, where will life come from - fears. Young couples newly adults never thought life would be like this. The unemployed already looking for work for some time. Middle aged doing well - new to job horror with numerous children. People tired of teenagers always bored and unhappy, looking at aging now. Being next on the aging grid suddenly. New empty nesters where all the interests are being reexamined. Low income people surrounded in despair. High income never seeing extreme trouble before. Middle income pressed to pay all bills with limited income. People with some age and ill health with health bills and new employment worries. People with food problems facing supply issues. People with fussy long range and extended meddling families. The elderly facing a life ending trauma to the world. Dementia and old age fears with isolation.
Everyone is Struggling
2 Samuel 12. Career is all. We haven't met David's children.
2 Samuel 13. Meddling family for grins, regardless of goodness or righteousness. Incest. Rape. Revenge. Murder. Ruin. Arson. Now the family is aware of each other in a problematic way. No real justice or solution is sought, "just end the problem."
2 Samuel 14. Meddling outsiders. Lack of understanding of family dynamics. Pretense. Lack of Truth. False sympathy. Arson.
2 Samuel 18 Death of son due to violence. Choices of increasing violence.
The People God has chosen. And problems life has seen.
David has planned vigilantes. Women and families in camp. Small sparing. Small wars. Wars. Angry people. And unite a nation after war. Unite former enemies. David opts to put space between the offensive and violent and let them know the truth is seen. David is finding Separation with grief. His son has obviously begun plotting. Why?
Signs
Childhood.
- expected to meet unrealistic standards
- overburdened with children or chores
- emotional supports neglected, given, taken
- harsh criticism
- unmet needs of safety, discipline, health, education, boundaries, food, clothing
- helicopter parents provide everything keeping you dependent
Symptoms
- FEAR
- Not being loved, dealt with compassionately or respected
- Mocking, belittling
- Attack where vulnerable
- Working to remove self esteem
- Gear up Difficulty with substance abuse varies mood
- Sexual innuendo or touching
- Body Shaming
- Harsh or Extreme Criticism
- Gaslighting
Added Difficulties.
- Challenges at work or school
- Pandemic
- Economy
- Food stability
- Medical needs
- Medical costs
- Trouble with friendships or other relationships
- Isolation
- Health concerns
- Emotional distress
- Financial difficulties
Solutions Healing
- Fight or Flight - if the disagreement is contained, distance. Walking, car, park. Bicycle.
- Distance like David. Tents in the front or backyard a new camping experience with the kids. Yesterday so Viva las Living Room, tomorrow is Puerto Backyard.
- Have some fun.
- Don't pretend fight didn't happen. Never spend the night where violence happened. Unless emergency.
- Allow time when life is so upset.
- Revenge will continue the fight.
- Quiet is agreed.
- Don't give fake apologies.
- Have a cool down strategy. Say cool down time. Walks, 'Soothing' Music, Something fun. A hobby or craft project. Make a dessert or fruit smoothie. A cup of tea or coffee. Visualize. Peace, Hope, Joy, Faith.
- Find a solution. Discuss calmly or postpone for more information.
- Apologize.
Emergency Measures when Family Shelters are hard to find.
- Keep Your Cell Phone Charged
- National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 200 languages
- Walk, bike away to make a safe phone call, Call 911
- Ask your Church for Prayer
- Stash cash
- Bicycle trip is casually going far away and hidden.
- Grocery store trip with the children. Walmart allows families to sleep in the parking lot.
- Garage parking inside a friend's house. Safe and hidden. Tents in backyards.
- Concrete multi level parking is empty during Pandemics. In safe areas.
- Don't annoy deliberately
- Be calm
- Do not provoke when a solution is not available.
- Do not go where you will be found easily.
Abba,
Life is for us to become God's Treasures. Some are statesmen, some are soldiers, some pave the way to live better today, being calm today. Some save others.
God provides a path forward. Jesus told us sometimes the path is narrow.
Help us to Live seeking You first. Finding Your Kingdom is at hand. Help us to have Love, Peace and Joy.
Profoundly we all pray This:
Psalm 122
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
I rejoiced with those who said to me,
“Let us go to the house of the Lord.”
2 Our feet are standing
in your gates, Jerusalem.
3 Jerusalem—built as a city
that is bound firmly together,
4 to which the tribes go up,
the tribes of the Lord,
as was decreed for Israel,
to give thanks to the name of the Lord.
5 There thrones for judgment were set,
the thrones of the house of David.
6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem!
“May they be secure who love you!
7 Peace be within your walls
and security within your towers!”
8 For my brothers and companions' sake
I will say, “Peace be within you!”
9 For the sake of the house of the Lord our God,
I will seek your good.
Jesus told His people with His ability to inspire, "Have Faith." Faith cancels fear. What we do today is burden enough. In this time, we don't plan for financial ruin. God is Good. Plan for recovery. Plan and pray, we ask the Lord for His Strength and limit our burdens to today.
Philippians 4:8
Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Thank You for the store clerk who told me, God has given you what you need today. See His Blessing.
We fear less when we help others. Prayer helps. In difficulty, Father God, You have given us The Lord's Prayer.
We pray the end of this virus and for recovery. We pray Jesus prays with us.
Our Father in Heaven,
Holy is Your Name,
Your Kingdom come,
Your Will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Save us from temptation
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are Yours
now and forever. Amen.
♔ Lord Jesus Saves! †
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