Psalm 126
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad.
4 Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like streams in the Negeb!
5 Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
6 He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.
John 5:30-47
32 There is another who bears witness about me, and I know that the testimony that he bears about me is true.
33 You sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. 34 Not that the testimony that I receive is from man, but I say these things so that you may be saved. 35 He was a burning and shining lamp, and you were willing to rejoice for a while in his light.
36 But the testimony that I have is greater than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to accomplish, the very works that I am doing, bear witness about me that the Father has sent me.
37 And the Father who sent me has himself borne witness about me. His voice you have never heard, his form you have never seen, 38 and you do not have his word abiding in you, for you do not believe the one whom he has sent. 39 You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.
41 I do not receive glory from people. 42 But I know that you do not have the love of God within you.
43 I have come in my Father's name, and you do not receive me. If another comes in his own name, you will receive him.
44 How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? 45 Do not think that I will accuse you to the Father. There is one who accuses you: Moses, on whom you have set your hope. 46 For if you believed Moses, you would believe me; for he wrote of me. 47 But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?”
This is my mother's first birthday she will have missed on earth.
Lately, I've had phone calls about my mom. One of the praises she always received - how lively she was. And my mother lived to the last drop. By the time she arrived in Heaven, she had used all of her physical abilities up. This was time for her to go on. A shining light.
Heaven has received my mother. My mother was always said to be bursting with friends. And yet, she felt many years she did most of the carrying for her friends. Really, she said to have friends meant she did all of the calling, all of the planning and all of the doing. The years she felt lonely, she felt what we would call ghosted now. She felt lonely living in France. Lonely times when my father pulled back. And ten years of distress over her divorce. Then years feeling the crowd she relied upon had left her completely for being divorced. Even in popularity, people feel lonely. Seasons of life, of the phone not ringing. Her mid 80s saw her friends die off. Dementia caused the others to leave. Conversation skills had departed. In truth, if Mother hadn't had Dementia, she would have collected more friends at places like Aerobics for the Elder Group.
Her Dementia, lowered her filters and had great cost upon her life in so very many levels. The Dementia Doctors would say taking too many anti-depressants, being the Martini generation we see on old TV programs, and smoking did not help one drop. We all have pain we have to look at in sobriety. Pray and work past the season. Find the true healing.
People and friends were important to my mother.
She didn't receive glory, but most of her friends were Christian, from the USA Largest Episcopal Church where she attended for 70 years. She had so many people who spent time with, their gripes fell away. The hurtful comment didn't sting. If a fuss up, then dust on to another friend and next group. Mother knew her own opinion and that is what mattered. Sometimes to her detriment. In this, less interested in the opinions of others, her acquaintance was desired
Mother could have filled a book talking about having friends and friendships.
My Daddy was said to be a Social Lion. Yet Mother kept his family after the divorce she had cause to file. The friends fell away from decades of being pampered to a large extent. We all have flaws, hers would have been envy in her post divorce years. But on the whole, I'd have to say she brought more Joy to life than most people. A Joy bringer, with the flaws we all have.
My mother and I once saw a Documentary of a man who had lived in Brooklyn in the 1930s. It was an Oddd documentary, it was about a man who was so well known in the areas of NYC, he was studied for a documentary for not being famous, but everyone knew him and liked him. If we were a formal publication and not a blog, it would be unforgivable I don't remember his name. This documentary recalled that the whole elementary school loved him. Joy and Love were the Blessings of his life. And High School, he was the Ferris Bueller before the name existed. His brother was part of the documentary, and said one day this incredible blessing of instantaneous respect, admiration and love deserted him as he and his brother were playing tennis. The former fans suddenly felt envy and the apple barrel was spoiled by a few apples griping. This man's family was sorry to say it was like the Dr. Seuss book,
“When you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.”
“You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!
Balancing Act. The rest of the documentary was his college, his career and his family life. His whole, entire life had been known to be kissed with love. And at times, love takes a bite in the rear from envy. Which turns out not to be so bad because we find out who really loves us. Too many friends, can equal, not enough family.
My mother's go-to supervisor was Ebby Halliday. Who was bought out in death by Warren Buffett. Her life was filled with glamour tickets to all the events because Ebby loved a crowd of friends around her. Lunch and evenings given the tickets to all the social doings. Mother worked until she was 80 and only retired because Ebby retired at age 103. Ebby lived to be 104. Mother had humor and she said the last days in the office were like assisted office.
The drawback was 'after' Mother's 4-month bout of Pneumonia and rehab at age 83, we found out she had Alzheimer's. She hadn't included that information in her conversations, but two of her friends told us she told them. Which caused her a severe setback in her retirement funds due to being in Dementia. During the rehab, Mother was false diagnosed with esophageal aspiration. Turns out it was a scam thing and the bill was enormous. The technician for the study wanted a feeding tube permanently placed and put her in the particular rehab facility for life. The technician said it was funny because when given this eventual terminal diagnosis, she didn't want her phone dialed to her children, she wanted her lovely boyfriend and a few friends to know first. My mother as a Realtor loved Dallas. But she also had Dementia. And she never babysat any grandchild because that was boring. Boring to remember her only husband's correct birthday. Never remembered what her son and daughter's birthday occurred. Yet Boring would have life been to have a feeding tube and living in a rehab facility, which my mother bravely said, "Never and forget That." Wise even in Dementia.
It's said we marry our parents. My father's father spent his life in Sewanee military school after his father died in a carriage accident. My paternal grandfather was nicknamed, "Pos" for his ability to play Opossum perfectly as social requirements call upon tact. Perhaps my father married a female similarity of his own father's 30 friends this weekend.
Mother did so many things like Cursillo
I miss the good years with my mother.
Mother was fun. And inclusive. The times when all her ideas were fun and the days were filled like summer camp. We grew things, learned things, canned things, learned how to make the best apple pies, had parties and gave great memories. Birthday parties and Birthday Clubs. Saw prosperity bring on the cycle of life of up and down and out and back.
The one virtue my mother really had, she believed God.
She believed for all her flaws, faults and sins, Worries, God was coming and would be glad to see her. Mother had her distinct limitations. But Heaven in Jesus Christ had saved a place for her. Mother Believe His Words. My Mother felt the Love of God and His Welcome. She had the loveliest of Eulogies. And all the warmth that was brought back by lovely Father Craig.
We love our mom and will miss her until Heaven calls us Home.
Abba, Father,
Father God, each day, help us to cultivate the garden you've given us for our lives.
Dwell in us to see and understand
what You give us for the Day.
Help this Day be more Heaven on earth
and our efforts please You.
Help us to work in Your Light.
Help us to weed out what is not holy in Your eyes, even when we cherish that weed.
Help us to see, diligently, Your blessings even when it is rain.
Let us be children of Light, even when we work with fertilizer.
And in the reading of Your Word, help us also to be do-ers,
let our lives reflect Your work in our garden.
Bless our garden, like a mustard seed, which we took and planted in the garden
You've given us.
Let it grow, the work of our hands and became a tree, so the birds of the air perched in its branches may sing to Your glory.
Help us not to cultivate the garden for our use alone,
but to be blessings to others with a generous heart.
Father God, teach us to let our mercies, our time, our talent be the meditation of the heart,
You hope for.
May our heart and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
In the holiest name of Jesus Christ we pray
for our families,
the urgent prayer
and the constant prayer of Hope, Faith and
Love.
Thank You Jesus. Thank You Abba. Amen and Amen.
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